Not This Hand
by time.forgets
Summary: This is set after the season 4 finale because it finished in a devastatingly House Cuddy way. House Cameron- just a one-shot. Please read Jules.


Ok, so I know I promised a sequel to House M.D as Kids and I know I promised to update Deep Sleeper more often but I couldn't get this out of my head. So don't shoot me, just enjoy the fic. It is set after the season finale and is House Cameron with well I didnt write this way on purpose but I guess some people might be able to see a bit of Cameron Chase.

Disclaimer- I don't own House but I wish I did (doesn't everyone??)

* * *

House slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. His eyes fell on Cuddy but that wasn't who he wanted to see.

He looked at the couch, maybe she was curled up on it reading a book like last time but with a sinking feeling he realized that she wasn't there at all. Maybe she wasn't lying when she said she didn't miss him.

Suddenly everything came crashing down. Cameron had always been there for him, when he woke up from getting shot in both the hallucination and real life. When anything bad had happened, Cameron had been there. Even though he acted like he didn't like it, he needed that support. Even when she had quit she didn't move very far away, she stayed down in the E.R and even though House said he didn't like her, he spent more time in the E.R than the average doctor who didn't even work there did.

When Cuddy reached for his hand he took it. He needed something to hold onto, because everything was changing and he couldn't take it. Even though he hated to admit it, even to himself, he needed Cameron and he only realized it when she wasn't there. He held tightly onto to Cuddy's hand even after she had fallen asleep but it wasn't the hand he wanted to hold. The hand he wanted, the hand he needed was considerably smaller, not as smooth, warmer and stronger. That hand made him feel safe and secure but it looked like this hand had to do.

* * *

She was curled up against Chase in their warm bed.

"I love you" Chase said gently in her ear. "Wilson's loss has made me think how lucky I am to have you. I love you."

Cameron couldn't respond. She knew the thing to say would be 'I love you too' but she couldn't lie like that. She didn't love Chase and it was sad because he did everything right. He bought her nice things and was always there for her and it was wrong that her heart belonged to House, cold, abrasive, rude, sarcastic and broken House.

She tried her hardest to get House to like her but that didn't work. Then she had tried her hardest to not love him, to hate him like everyone else, but that proved harder than she thought. And finally, she had distanced herself from him. She had quit and moved in with Chase but obviously that hadn't worked either or she would be thinking of Chase as she lay next to him instead of House.

She hated that she didn't want to be against Chase's chest, hated that she felt safer and more secure in House's arms. But it looked like these arms would have to do.

* * *

As quietly as she could, Cameron crept out of bed and put some clothes on to go to the hospital. She got in her car, put the radio on and quickly drove to Princeton Plainsboro.

She found House's room and slowly pushed open the door. Her heart took a hit when she saw House and Cuddy's hands entwined and she was about to turn around and leave but stopped when House lifted his head and looked at her in a way that he never had before. Even from the door she could see his eyes were filled with need, sadness and maybe even a bit of love and it made her heart stop.

She slowly walked towards his bed and when she got there, House dropped Cuddy's hand and slowly extended his arm towards her. Cameron stood stock still as House's hands came closer to her face and his finger ran down her cheek.

She knew that this wasn't going to mean anything to House in a few days but this was the kind of thing that kept her love strong for him.

He moved over in the bed and patted the cover of the newly vacated spot and Cameron carefully got on next to him.

As she leaned into and he put his arms around her she realized that these were the arms she wanted to be in. House reached over and caught her hand in his own and he to realized that this was who he wanted holding his hand when he woke up.

While Cuddy slept peacefully on the couch next to the bed, House and Cameron held each other until they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please review it makes my day Jules


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